Can Relationships Be Toxic?
When you are in the presence of your partner or a family member, do you ever feel like they bring out the worst in you? That their energy, expressions or words are just toxic? You start not wanting to be around them and looking for reasons consciously or subconsciously why you can’t spend time with them. You’re not alone.
Many people show up or stay in situations thinking it warrants being there to defend themselves or to point out that the other person brings on all the negativity. Coming from this place can escalate into regretful words and actions. Some people just choose to leave. Avoiding any interaction and going off by themselves full of pent-up anger and frustration. There is always the choice to stay or leave a situation and to do it from a place of love. These “tough” relationships can be our best teachers. (Please note it is never okay to stay in a physically abusive relationship. Seek help.)
When contemplating whether to stay or leave, ask yourself “What’s the best place for me to be to evolve so that I can be showing up the way I want to in this world?”. Staying (even if just for a while) often gives us the most opportunities for growth so that we don’t carry our same patterns into other situations or relationships.
You’re thinking that it is the other person or the situation that is causing toxicity but It is not the other people or the situation. Before making a decision to stay or leave, get to that place where you can be around them and you know nothing they say or do will make you feel a certain way. You are in charge of your own feelings. Once you get to the place where you know you can be comfortable being around them, choose a feeling of being happy or content (remember you choose the feelings yourself by your thoughts). From that place choose whether you want to stay or leave. Spend time there. Get to the point where you like how you are showing up. Wait until thoughts of “this is toxic, they extract anger etc..” are gone. Until then you are giving away too much of your power.
How will you know when you’re ready to make that decision to stay or leave? No matter what they say or what the circumstance is, you are creating thoughts and feelings that have you showing up exactly as you want to. Not charged with anger. Not fueling toxicity, not holding back. Just being present in the moment and liking how you are showing up.