Feeling Conflicted About Ending Your Relationship?
Ending a relationship is painful because you are/were physically and mentally close to another person. So much of your inner self was shared with another human. Maybe you’re remembering when you first met and fell totally in love. Perhaps you had children, built a home, formed a business. You had many shared experiences, both good and bad and it is hard to let those go. There was probably a lot of time, energy and money invested in the relationship and you’re wondering if things are really that bad. After all, maybe there’s nothing wrong with the other person, you’re just not feeling connected and seem to have grown apart.
I remember feeling like everyone else in my household was happy and it was only me who was unhappy. I felt like something was missing but I didn’t know what. I had a good job, healthy family, supportive husband, and a nice house. I kept asking myself “what is wrong with me? I should be happy.” The intense intimate and emotional life I shared with my ex-husband and children made it all the harder to contemplate breaking up.
As humans, we don’t like change. We fear being alone, hurting other people, being rejected, not knowing what is next, failure, and not being loved. The thought of a breakup is all of those things. I know now that those are just thoughts. That the way to finding happiness is not through the other people in our lives or our situations, but rather managing our own minds and being willing to speak our truth even though it might be painful.
Deciding if you should break up or to stay is worth the hard work and it is an opportunity to explore yourself and really see how your thoughts are making you feel conflicted and creating apprehension and confusion.
What if you just allowed yourself to feel whatever is coming up knowing that others have experienced similar pain. Could you be compassionate and nonjudgmental of yourself in the process knowing that you are right where you’re supposed to be? Can you be honest with yourself about what is happening and find the courage to show up with integrity?
Everything doesn’t have to be figured out at once. Don’t be in a hurry. Find your own happiness before you make a decision to end your relationship. This is your life and you get to decide what you want to do with it. That’s where your power is.