A purposeful Pause - A Little + Often = A lot

Last week I talked about what kind of qualities makes a best friend. I then gave you a challenge to read through them again and see if you routinely apply all of the same things to yourself. Most of us are much kinder to others than we are to ourselves. And yet loving ourselves is the ultimate way to have a better life and more love to spread.

I often coach on being your own best friend. Having your own back, no matter what. In the end, the only person you can ever really count on is you. You are forced to be in a relationship with yourself whether you like it or not. Why not make it as good a relationship as possible?

Even the seemingly innocuous phrases we use daily can diminish our personal power and our opportunity to create success.

Do you ever have trouble speaking up in your relationship? Saying what you mean and meaning what you say? I know I do. I work every day to bring awareness to what I am doing and to change it.

When we feel resentful it usually is because we feel like someone has mistreated us or disrespected us in some way. Not only is it really frustrating to feel this way but it's also a clear signal that it’s time to speak up and perhaps set a boundary. But not for the reason you might think.

Numbing ourselves prevents us from confronting our issues and keeps us from ever finding resolution or peace.

I want to share with you 2 amazing exercises to experience with your partner that will help you gain greater connection to one another.  When we want to see deeply into the heart and mind of another person, soul gazing, allows us to see their soul.

Most of us women weren’t taught that sexual pleasure is available to all of us and is a beautiful, human experience.  If you are like me, no one taught us to explore our own “private parts” to find out what gave us pleasure. As adults, we may forget that we can take ownership for getting in the mood for love making.  I’m going to remind you how.

Intimacy is sometimes described as “a close familiarity or friendship”. Having an interpersonal relationship involves physical or emotional intimacy. Even though an intimate relationship is commonly thought of as a sexual relationship, intimacy also shows up non-sexually.

I’ve been doing a lot of coaching with men lately.  Here’s what I’ve noticed.  They are over-worked, anxious, under pressure and struggling with life-work balance.  They want to create meaningful changes in their life with more connection and intimacy with their partners but they’re not sure how.

In a long-term relationship, it is often necessary to get back to basics. The dance of intimacy involves coming together and moving apart. It also requires consciously stepping back to center.

My husband has a lot of self-confidence.  I watch him try new things over and over again with what looks like no fear.  Whether it be starting a new business, driving a boat or putting something together without reading the directions, he just does it.

People can say hurtful words to us. I like to remember that only hurting people say or do hurtful things. It’s easy to think that we caused it. No matter how hard we try, we cannot control what other people say or do. I’ve tried. It doesn’t work. But what we CAN do is control our own emotions.

I love these 14 tips from an unknown author when asked what felt different as they grew older. No matter what age, these are perfect reminders for our relationships.

As humans, we have this huge spectrum of emotions. Some of them are painful - sadness, disappointment, fear, and sorrow to name a few. Painful emotions are a part of life. They are necessary to help us heal and grow and they support our ability to empathize with others. Allowing our painful, negative emotions makes the joyful emotions even sweeter. But what makes the feeling of pain healthy or unhealthy?

Emotions that we long to express can get stored in our bodies instead. The space where this most often happens is in our bellies. You may have experienced this yourself when feeling nervous, or scared. Rather than telling people, or even ourselves, the way we truly feel, we may stuff our true feelings deep inside of us, where they take up space until we are ready to let them go.

Simplifying your schedule and busyness of the day may be crucial to your health. For many of us, life is a hodgepodge of never-ending commitments and to-do lists. Yet few of us can be truly healthy or happy without regular periods of downtime.

My answer use to be “not really”. When I was younger, I really hated it. I would ALWAYS find something to do or find someone to hang out with me. Why? I didn’t like being with myself that much. I wasn’t my best friend. Being alone with Barbara meant I had to spend time with my own thoughts and feelings. Being with someone else let me focus on them instead. That was so much easier.

Are you struggling with having a conversation with a family member or loved one?

I know what you are going through and that feeling of being conflicted. You want to have the conversation, but don’t know how to start. You vacillate between whether to have it or not.