Ladder Thoughts
I was recently asked on a coaching call, “How can I stop thinking I’m not good enough?”
If this is you, the good news is that you’re aware enough that you have a thought that you’re not good enough as opposed to you just believing you’re not good enough.
When you are aware that you have a thought that is not serving you, it’s easy to want to jump to a new thought, like “I’m amazing”. But when you don’t believe it, or truly feel it in your body, when that little voice is saying things like “I’m not amazing at all, I’m not enough, or I’m terrible,” it doesn’t work. This new “I’m amazing” thought is not useful. In fact, it can even feel worse because it feels like you’re kidding yourself. This is when the thought ladder helps.
Imagine a ladder. At the bottom of your ladder is your current thought “I’m not good enough”. At the top is the thought you want to believe, “I’m Amazing”. It is a giant step to get there all at once. But it’s possible to go one rung at a time. So, what is a thought that IS believable? This is the first rung of the ladder. Something like: “I notice I just keep thinking this thought “I’m not good enough” but maybe it’s okay because it is just a thought. Maybe it’s okay because it is just a pattern in my brain. It’s just a sentence. I don’t need to attach my identity to this optional story. It’s okay because it is just a thought.
Once that thought feels believable to you and that’s a default for you, you can go up another rung on the ladder.
“Maybe I’m better than I’m giving myself credit for”
“Maybe I’m more worthy than I was led to believe as a child”
“It’s possible that I could someday believe that I’m more amazing than I currently do”.
How do you know if it is time to move up? You ask yourself “Does the thought make me feel slightly better than I currently feel? Does it feel believable to me?” If it’s not believable and doesn’t make you feel slightly better, it’s not going to work.
Practice the thought that is believable until it is your default. Once that thought is solidified, start practicing another thought that is believable. Look for evidence. This takes time. You are creating new neuro pathways to replace the old ones.
Step by step (rung by rung) is how you will get yourself out of not good enough. You can do this!