Tips for Becoming Your Own Best Friend

Last week I talked about what kind of qualities makes a best friend.  I then gave you a challenge to read through them again and see if you routinely apply all of the same things to yourself.  Most of us are much kinder to others than we are to ourselves.  And yet loving ourselves is the ultimate way to have a better life and more love to spread.

Here are some tips on how you can become your own best friend:

1)    Celebrate yourself with accolades, such as “good job”, “you’re amazing”, “you did it!”, give yourself a high-five or a long hug when you’ve accomplished something (no matter how small)

2)    Have your own back no matter what. Others may think or say things about you.  That’s okay.  And if there’s a little bit of truth to what they said, that’s okay too. You get to love you no matter what.  Don’t spin on it.  Other people are allowed to think and do whatever they want.

3)    Listen to yourself and validate your thoughts and feelings with curiosity, not judgement. Offer yourself some encouragement.

4)    Be there for you when you need someone.  When we need our best friend, it is normally when things get rough.  Sadly, that is the time when most of us abandon ourselves.  Be there for you.  Make time to journal, sit with yourself, do some self-care and bee willing to listen.

5)    Honor the commitments you make to yourself. Don’t over-commit. You don’t want to let yourself down. After all, you wouldn’t let a best friend down if you made a commitment to them, so treat yourself the same.

6)    Make it safe to be you.  True connection comes from being vulnerable. When you are feeling vulnerable, create a safe place to just allow it.  Be kind, understanding, non-judgmental and open.

7)    Know your shortcomings and see that they are also part of what makes you as you.  Be compassionate with them.

8)    Be fun to be with.  No one wants to be with someone who is negative all the time. When you have negative thoughts, challenge yourself with a new way that might be possible to think about it. Let yourself be silly and play.

9)    When challenging thoughts, situations, or experiences come up, ask yourself what you would say to your best friend if they had just shared the information with you.  It is probably something like:

“I got you”

“I’m so sorry that happened”

“I love you”

“You were brave to try that”

“What’s going on with you?  What do you need?”

“I know your worried about this thing, but it’s going to be okay”

“Is there anything I can do for you”

“You can count on me to be here no matter what happens”

“Good for you for trying that and I’m sure it will get easier with practice”

“I love you, no matter what”

10) Self-Care

• Do something nice for yourself- walk in nature, cup of tea, take a nap, play some music, take a bath, eat a nourishing meal, find some humor

• Turn everything off and just be with yourself.  Remember to Breathe deep.

• Do some Journaling- This doesn’t have to be structured in any way.  Just let it all out on paper.  A brain dump, a thought download, all of it.  Just write.

• Mirror Talk- You probably look at yourself in the mirror several times a day.  Make it a habit to say something nice, wink at yourself, or blow yourself a kiss.