Stay and Work on Your Mind
It’s an Option to Stay and Work on Your Mind
Wanting to leave…breathe. The only thing you are in a hurry about is to get out of pain. You don’t need to change your circumstance to get out of pain. You can change the way you are thinking about it.
When you can leave something with love, caring and communication you can do it in a way that honors the people that are associated with you. You won’t have to destroy something in order to change or justify your reasons to anyone. Generate a feeling of calm and peace and love. It is normal to want to leave when you feel that the relationship is what is causing your unhappiness.
How do you know if you should stay and work on your mind or if you are ready to leave the relationship?
One of the best indicators is that there is no feeling of rush. You can tell the truth, have open communication and feel good about it. You don’t have fear and shame about leaving because you’ve done all the thought work around it.
If you’re going to leave, do it with love. If you can’t do it with love, look at all the reasons why. Slow down and find your way to love. Make sure you like your reason and that it isn’t because you are trying to manipulate the outside world to feel happy inside. When you like your reason, you will feel solid and confident in your choice and you won’t be in a hurry. You will feel stabile in your decision and not stuck in confusion.
Wondering if this is the right decision?
If you’re thinking it isn’t the right decision because of any of the following, give yourself time and space to question it so that you make your decision from a clean place.
Are you people pleasing, thinking other people will be hurt or will be upset because of the decision or just trying to keep the peace? If it is about making the other person happy, don’t lie to yourself about it. You will destroy the relationship with resentment.
Are you pretending that everything is fine and are just going through the motions not acknowledging what is really going on? Have you communicated what you want?
Are you feeling like you are just sticking up for yourself but coming from a place of anger or blame? Wait until you have owned up to your responsibility in the relationship and are communicating your true thoughts and feelings.
Are you lying, cheating and deceiving and doing things behind the other person’s back rather than addressing the situation from a place of love and calm? You may notice that you are lying to yourself if there is shame involved.
If you are doing any of the above, pay attention to the lies you tell. They may be subtle and put it in a way that sounds better to the other person and this will invalidate the reason you have for yourself. Tell yourself the truth even if you are withholding something from someone else.
How do you WANT to show up?
Let the other person be who they are going to be and find freedom in knowing that it is not in your control. No one has the power to change another person.
Acknowledge to yourself why you are staying or leaving for whatever reason you want. Don’t make your desires right, wrong or immediate and know that you don’t have to do anything, but you can. You can leave or you can stay. Commit to love and focusing on the work to be happy in the situation you are in. It is powerful to know you have a choice.
Talk with honesty and love to yourself and explore your options. If it is not loving, stop, slow down and breathe. Your life is your own. If you go around trying to change everything you will exhaust yourself. When you stay in situations because you are afraid what other people think about you, you are afraid of doing the wrong thing, you will lose yourself.
Whether you decide to leave or stay, make sure you feel loving towards yourself and everyone around you. Find the path that will grow you and evolve you to the best version of yourself and to always honor what is true in your heart. You are the only one that knows.
If you want to explore your options, I can help you find your way. Book a free 60 minute session to find out if we are a good fit.