Female Sexual Pleasure
Most of us women weren’t taught that sexual pleasure is available to all of us and is a beautiful, human experience. If you are like me, no one taught us to explore our own “private parts” to find out what gave us pleasure. As adults, we may forget that we can take ownership for getting in the mood for love making. I’m going to remind you how.
Men are different than women. There can be an expectation that if they want sex, so should we. But age, kids, health, work and all kinds of other things often get in the way and we are not in sync. Sure, there are those times when we may not feel like it, but we love our partner and want to give them pleasure. Nothing wrong with that if that is where your head is at, just make sure you are doing it for reasons you like. If you don’t want to and are doing it out of a feeling of obligation or manipulation, it can lead to resentment and that is not healthy. What about those times when you may want to want it, but just can’t seem to get into it. Then what? This is when it is time to go back to basics and create the mood with your own desire.
1) Get to know your body. What’s going on down there? Explore and relish in learning what gives you pleasure and what doesn’t. If you don’t know your own body, it will be difficult to communicate it to your partner later.
2) Recognize your mind-body connection. What thoughts turn you on? Can you put aside thinking about work, kids, the to-do list and mindfully become present for yourself?
3) Try working with different sensory enhancements- Be thinking “How do I manipulate my environment so I can feel safe and comfortable like I am in erotic space”. This may include things like:
· Creating a sexy playlist for getting your energy and mood up (the pre-playlist) or one full of romantic songs to play during love making
· Scented candles
· Soft, diffused lighting
· A warm bath
· Soft sheets
· A decluttered bedroom
The bottom line here is that we are wired for pleasure to help keep us alive and produce offspring (even if those days are over). What an amazing gift! It’s not your partner’s job to get you in the mood. You can do that. Pleasure is available to you and is a wonderful, beautiful, deserving life bonus. Go get it!