Self Confidence and the Keurig

My husband has a lot of self-confidence.  I watch him try new things over and over again with what looks like no fear.  Whether it be starting a new business, driving a boat or putting something together without reading the directions, he just does it.

The other day we were at a hotel with a Keurig coffee maker in the room.  No matter where we are, he makes me coffee every morning and brings it to me in bed (so very sweet).  I watched him pressing different buttons as one part flipped up to add the water, then the other for the coffee pod, then the switch for getting it brewing, but the sequence he was doing wasn’t working.  So, he kept pressing buttons in different sequences until the hot brew came faithfully into the cup.

A little later I looked at the machine myself.  The directions were right on the machine. Even with pictures.  I always read the directions because I have a fear of doing it wrong and I want to get it right the first time. My brain thinks this is the smarter, more efficient way to do it. But it also holds me back from doing new things.  I don’t want to fail.  I want to get it right the first time.  I want to do it perfectly and I don’t want to feel any negative emotion like disappointment or not good enough. My husband didn’t care if he got it the first time around.  He KNEW he would figure it out.

I’ve been pondering this and thinking that this little move by my husband to get the coffee brewing by trying until he got it, just reinforced his self-confidence.  He subconsciously is telling himself all the time “Of course I’ll figure it out, I’m capable, I got this”.  And, of course, he has lots of proof of the many times it’s worked out. 

I think self-confidence is having complete trust in yourself that you will figure it out.  That you will do whatever it is you have set out to do. It has to start from consistent follow through on your commitments to yourself.  Each time you honor a promise to yourself, you are building self confidence and trust. Even just the little things.  When we say we will do something and then don’t do it out of fear or an unwanted emotion, we train our brain not to trust ourselves.  We create self-doubt which is the opposite of self-confidence.  You weren’t born with self-confidence; you earn it by keeping your word to yourself, having your own back, being willing to feel any emotion, learning from what didn’t work and not giving up.

When you take action, you either get the result you were looking for or you don’t. You will always learn what worked and what didn’t.

Take action, fail or succeed, learn. This is the way to confidence and success.

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We can’t control other people's emotions, but we can control our own.